The Impact of the Newtown, CT Tragedy on the Autism Community

By: Kari, MA, LPC candidate

 

 

We were all shocked and saddened by the tragic events that unfolded at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday, December 14^th.  Unfortunately, speculation among the media that the shooter, Adam Lanza, had an autism spectrum disorder (Asperger’s Disorder) as well as amateur conjecture about a link between autism and premeditated violence have intensified the impact of this tragedy for many in the autism community. 

 

Simply put, Asperger’s Disorder (also known as Asperger’s Syndrome) is an autism spectrum disorder characterized by normal intelligence and normal or near-normal language development.  Children who are diagnosed with this disorder will likely have difficulty interacting with others and may be described as “awkward” in social situations.  They might have difficulty with basic communication skills, such as eye contact, using and/or interpreting body language or facial expressions, and understanding figures of speech or sarcasm.  They may display repetitive behaviors, such as hand wringing or flapping; have coordination problems; and require more structure and planning than other children.  Further, they will likely have a limited range of interests and may be exceptionally talented or skilled in a particular area.

 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in every 88 U.S. children has autism.   Additionally, autism spectrum disorders are not characterized by violence or a desire to hurt others, and being diagnosed on the spectrum does not make a person dangerous.  In fact, the Autism Society of America released the following statement in response to the Newtown tragedy: “There is absolutely no evidence or any reliable research that suggests a linkage between autism and planned violence.”  It is critically important for all of us, professionals and laypeople alike, to understand that so as not to discriminate against the children and families that make up the autism community.

Risks of Sexting

By: Mandy, MSW, LSW

 

 

Consider the following scenario: Jennifer and Adam are 16 years old and have been dating for about six months. Adam sends Jennifer a text message asking her to send him a “special” photo. Jennifer goes to her room and takes a semi-nude photo and sends it to Adam.  

Jennifer has potentially committed 3 felonies: creation, dissemination, and possession of child pornography. Adam has potentially committed 2 felonies: solicitation and possession of child pornography. If he sends the photo to a friend, he now qualifies for a felony for dissemination. Each felony comes with a minimum fine of $2,000 and a minimum sentence of four years in prison. That potentially equates to $6,000 in fines and 12 years in prison for Jennifer and $4,000 in fines and 8 years in prison for Adam (assuming he did not send the picture to any of his friends).  

After completing their prison sentences, both Adam and Jennifer would have to register with the national sex offenders’ database. Not registering would result in ANOTHER felony. Once registered, anyone would be able to search the website and find them along with their crimes of “child pornography” listed there. The law makes no distinction between a 16-year-old girl who consents to taking a semi-nude picture of herself and an adult who photographs or videos children forced to commit a sex act.  

As registered sex offenders, Adam and Jennifer would be banned from school grounds and parks. They could not participate in park district activities. Many colleges would not accept them, and they would be barred from any career that would involve working with minors; they could not be teachers, daycare workers, therapists, or pediatricians. They could not volunteer at their children’s school or coach their little league teams. The charges would show up on every background check conducted for every job they ever apply for.  

As you can see, sexting (sending a nude or semi-nude photograph via text message) has the potential to ruin a child’s life forever. Students must be educated on the legal risks and consequences of sexting, and it needs to be made clear that once a photo is posted online or texted to someone, they can NEVER take it back.

 

 



Healthy Holidays: Tips for Coping with Grief

By:

Kari, MA, LPC candidate

Mandy, MSW, LSW



Losing a loved one is never easy, but holidays and anniversaries can be especially challenging.  During a time when everyone else is celebrating, it can feel even more lonely and difficult.  However, you can make it through the holidays.  You may not feel like celebrating, and that’s okay, but it’s important not to withdraw or isolate yourself.  Here are some ways that you can cope with and even celebrate the holidays while still remembering your loved one:

1. First and foremost, know your limits.  Be aware of your ability to handle stress, be realistic about how much you can take on, make time for self-care, and rest when you need to.
2. Continue family traditions that were meaningful to that person… if you feel up to it.  Don’t force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with just because you think your loved one would want it that way.
3. Establish new traditions to commemorate your loved one.  For example:

• Make or purchase a decoration this year or every year that symbolizes your loved one.
• Light a candle in memory of your loved one.
• Consider donating some money or time to a charitable cause in honor of your loved one. 
• Write a letter or spend some time talking to your loved one. 

4. Prepare yourself, mentally and physically, for the holiday season.  Planning ahead will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed later on.
5. Make time for relaxation, but “plan” your downtime (i.e. time of day, what you will do or not do, etc.) to avoid feeling lonely or depressed.  Suggestions:

• Journaling.
• Deep breathing.
• Getting a massage.

You can sign up to receive emails about and discounts on a variety of different activities in your area at www.amazonlocal.com.

6. Avoid depressants, such as alcohol, extended time alone, negative people, etc.
7. Let others know what you need (or don’t need!); they won’t know unless you tell them.
8. Give yourself permission to laugh and enjoy the season as you feel compelled to do so.  We don’t honor our loved ones by forcing ourselves to feel sad, miserable, or guilty.
    
9. Get support as you need it!  This can come in the form of a family member, friend, counselor, or support group.  If you or someone you know may benefit from counseling (in English, Spanish, or Polish), call (847) 981-3514 or email ParishServices@alexian.net to get more information or request an appointment.

Myth Busters: Part II - Counselor-Selection Myths Examined

By:

Kari, MA, LPC candidate

Mandy, MSW, LSW

Last time, we discussed the many myths that surround the field of counseling.  This time, we’re looking at some of the myths about finding and selecting a counselor.  So let’s once again join Kari and Mandy, the Myth-Busting duo, to examine some of these misconceptions.

“Counseling is really expensive.”   

BUSTED: The fees for counseling services vary.  The standard rate for no insurance and no sliding scale is $120-150 per therapy hour.  HOWEVER… many counselors accept some form of insurance or offer a sliding scale fee system, which means that the fee can be adjusted/negotiated based on financial need.  Further, some counseling agencies have interns on staff, which are graduate students that are in their final year of training.  They are highly educated and are fully supervised by licensed staff and may be a more affordable alternative.  Additionally, many townships offer low-cost counseling services and/or subsidy programs for their citizens.   

Contact your insurance carrier and/or township for more information. 

“All counselors are the same.”   

BUSTED: Different counselors have different styles and specialties.  For example, you want to look for a counselor that specializes in what you need.  So if what you want is help solving a relationship problem with your significant other, you probably don’t want a counselor that specializes in inner-child work but rather someone who has experience working with couples.  If faith and spirituality are important to you, you can look for a counselor who will be able to integrate that into your therapy.  The bottom line is that there are a lot of different counselors out there, so don’t be afraid to ask questions. 

“Once you pick a counselor, you have to stick with them whether you like it or not.”   

BUSTED: As Mandy likes to say, sometimes finding a counselor is like shopping for jeans… sometimes you have to try on a few pairs before you find the right fit.  Or for you guys out there, sometimes finding a counselor is like finding a great mechanic… sometimes you have to ask around before you find one that you trust.  After a few sessions, if you think the counselor isn’t a good fit for you, then have a conversation with the counselor about that.  You don’t have to settle. 

“Anyone can be a counselor.” 

BUSTED: The State of Illinois does license counseling professionals, and you have a right to ask to see their license.   

“Whaaaat??  So many acronyms… what do they all mean?” 

Psychology

BA: Bachelor of Arts (4-year undergraduate degree; not a license)
BS: Bachelor of Science (4-year undergraduate degree; not a license)

MA: Master of Arts (Bachelor's degree +2-3 years of graduate school; not a license)
MS: Master of Science (Bachelor's degree +2-3 years of graduate school; not a license)

PsyD: Doctor of Psychology (Bachelor's degree +4-8 years of graduate school; not a license)

PhD: Doctor of Philosophy (Bachelor's degree +4-8 years of graduate school; not a license)

LPC: Licensed Professional Counselor (requires at least a Master’s degree; must be supervised by someone with an LCPC)
NCC: National Certified Counselor (requires at least a Master's degree, usually obtained in addition to the LPC or LCPC licensure)

LCPC: Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (requires a Doctoral degree or LPC +2 years of full-time, supervised clinical work)

LMFT: Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (specialized license; not required to practice marriage/family counseling) 

Note: Bachelor/Master of Arts does not mean that the person studied art or painting, and Doctor of Philosophy does not mean that the person studied philosophy; these are generic terms.  For example, a PhD could be in anything from Psychology to Chemistry to English Literature… so feel free to ask! 

Social Work

BSW: Bachelor of Social Work (4-year undergraduate degree; not a license)

MSW: Master of Social Work (Bachelor's degree +2-3 years of graduate school; not a license)

DSW: Doctor of Social Work (Bachelor's degree +4-8 years of graduate school; not a license)

LSW: Licensed Social Worker (requires at least a Master’s degree; must be supervised by someone with an LCSW)

LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker (requires at least a Master’s degree +2 years of full-time, supervised clinical work) 

Other

CADC: Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (requires at least an Associate’s degree, only qualifies someone to do addictions counseling; this is often obtained in addition to another Master’s-level license)
ICDVP: Illinois Certified Domestic Violence Professional
MAPC: Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling

"Where can I start?"
If you or someone you know may benefit from counseling (in English, Spanish, or Polish), and you live in the Chicagoland area, you can contact Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health: Parish Services at (847) 981-3514 or parishservices@alexian.net to get more information or request an appointment.

Myth Busters: Part I - Counseling Myths Examined

By:

Kari, MA, LPC candidate

Mandy, MSW, LSW

There are a lot of myths surrounding the field of counseling.  Many of them are fun to joke about but are not rooted in reality… at least not anymore.  So let’s join Kari and Mandy, the Myth-Busting duo, as they dissect some of these common misconceptions.

Counseling is NOT:

• …what you learned about in Psych 101 (Freud).
• …a never-ending process.
• …head-shrinking.  (Can your head actually get smaller???)
• …you being studied and analyzed like a Science project.
• …advice.
• …just for the mentally ill.

Now that we know what counseling is not, let’s take a look at what counseling is.

Counseling IS:

• …evidence-based, meaning that research has shown that these techniques work.
• …time-limited.  Good therapists are on a mission to work themselves out of business; the goal is always to not be needed anymore.
• …a collaborative effort between client and therapist.
• …for “regular folks” who want some support and guidance and/or want to make a change in their life
• …confidential.  Your therapist cannot discuss your treatment with anyone without your consent (unless there is an imminent safety concern).

Coming Soon!  Myth Busters: Part II – Counselor-Selection Myths Examined

Where to begin?  Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health: Parish Services
If you or someone you know may benefit from counseling (in English, Spanish, or Polish), call (847) 981-3514 or email ParishServices@alexian.net to get more information or request an appointment.  Fees for service vary based on income/financial need.



Decoding "I'm Fine": How Divorce Can Impact Children

By: Kari, MA, LPC candidate

Divorce is an incredibly stressful time… not just for the children, but for everyone involved.  Divorcing parents experience many complicated emotions, some of them conflicting, and there is a great deal of pressure to “keep it together” for the kids.  Some of the more widely-known consequences that divorce can have on children can be alarming, such as decreased psychological well-being in the form of depression, anxiety, low self-image/self-esteem, and other psychological problems (Burns & Dunlop, 2002; Kin, 2002; Marquardt, 2005); depressed educational achievement (Marquardt; King); lowered economic stability (King); juvenile delinquency, early sexual activity, and teen pregnancy (Marquardt).  Nonetheless, it is also important to emphasize that many children and young adults from divorced families do not suffer from major psychological problems, have achieved their education and career goals, and retain close ties with their families. They enjoy intimate relationships and do not appear to be “scarred for life” by the negative effects of divorce.  Unfortunately, in our society, if a child doesn’t display any of those worst-case-scenario outcomes, the assumption tends to be that that child is “fine” and is not in need of help.  However, it is important to know that children of divorce, even those who appear outwardly “fine”, have suffered a loss and need time, space, and support to grieve and adjust. 

            Commitment, trust, intimacy, and communication are a few of the most important building blocks for healthy relationships, and experiencing parental divorce can affect one’s ability to engage in any or all of them.  In particular, Hayashi and Strickland (1998) conducted a study exploring the long-term effects of parental divorce on romantic relationships.  They discussed the “sleeper effect”, which they described as an individual’s vivid memories of parents’ marital dissolution, leaving that individual fearful of marriage, unable to maintain a steady relationship, and “intensely afraid of loss or betrayal” (p. 25).  Further, conflict has a significant role in the impact divorce has on children, more specifically that if there is a high level of conflict pre-divorce, then the children tend to be better off after the divorce (Burns & Dunlop, 2002).  According to Hayashi and Strickland, “the level of interpersonal conflict is more important to a child’s development than the parents’ divorce itself.  Such conflict may erode the quality of relationship the child can have with either parent by forcing [him or her] into loyalty triangles” (p. 26).  This suggests that the parents’ ability to maintain a functional and civil relationship during and following the divorce could help reduce some of the negative effects related to the divorce itself. 

            Despite all of the scary possible outcomes, there is also the potential for positive outcomes related to parental divorce.  For instance, in some cases, divorce is not viewed as a loss but rather as a renewal or transformation (Shulman et al., 2001).  For example, if there was a great deal of conflict and unhappiness in the family prior to the divorce, the divorce itself could provide relief and/or a new beginning for all involved.  Additionally, parental divorce can serve as a powerful learning experience in that children who experience their parents’ divorce may learn to be more sensitive to problems in relationships and have a greater commitment to solving those problems (Hayashi & Strickland, 1998; Shulman et al.).  Further, although some children of divorce may inherit their parents’ maladaptive relationship style, others are able to learn from that template and establish healthier styles (Shulman et al.).  The bottom line is that children of divorce can and do grow up to be “successful adults in relationships and in life” (Johnson, 2011, p. 24), but they need the adults in their lives to recognize and acknowledge the significant impact their parents’ divorce will have on them today, tomorrow, and always.

Decoding "I'm Fine" event, presented by Alexian Brotheral Behavioral Health: Parish Services

References 

Burns, A., & Dunlop, R. (2002). Parental marital quality and family conflict: Longitudinal effects on adolescents from divorcing and non-divorcing families. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 37(1/2), 57-74. 

Hayashi, G. M., & Strickland, B. R. (1998). Long-term effects of parental divorce on love relationships: Divorce as attachment disruption. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15(1), 23-38. 

Johnson, V. I. (2011). Adult children of divorce and relationship education: Implications for counselors and counselor educators. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 19(1), 22-29.

King, V. (2002). Parental divorce and interpersonal trust in adult offspring. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 642-656. 

Marquardt, E. (2005). Between two worlds: The inner lives of children of divorce. New York: Crown Publishers.

Mullett, E., & Stolberg, A. L. (2002). Divorce and its impact on the intimate relationships of young adults. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 38(1/2), 39-59. 

Shulman, S., Scharf, M., Lumer, D., & Maurer, O. (2001). Parental divorce and young  adult children's romantic relationships: Resolution of the divorce experience. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 71(4), 473-478.

The Journey of Change

By: Mandy, MSW, LSW



I was given this poem in a class and I was struck by how well the poem illistrates the process and journey of change.

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters 

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street. 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk 

I fall in.

I am lost ... I am helpless.

  It isn't my fault.

It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again. 

I can't believe I am in the same place

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same stress.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It's my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it. 

V

I walk down another street.

Think about the changes you are trying to make in your life. What chapter best describes where you are in the change process? What steps will you need to take to move to another stage?