Healthy Holidays: Tips for Coping with Grief

By:

Kari, MA, LPC candidate

Mandy, MSW, LSW



Losing a loved one is never easy, but holidays and anniversaries can be especially challenging.  During a time when everyone else is celebrating, it can feel even more lonely and difficult.  However, you can make it through the holidays.  You may not feel like celebrating, and that’s okay, but it’s important not to withdraw or isolate yourself.  Here are some ways that you can cope with and even celebrate the holidays while still remembering your loved one:

1. First and foremost, know your limits.  Be aware of your ability to handle stress, be realistic about how much you can take on, make time for self-care, and rest when you need to.
2. Continue family traditions that were meaningful to that person… if you feel up to it.  Don’t force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with just because you think your loved one would want it that way.
3. Establish new traditions to commemorate your loved one.  For example:

• Make or purchase a decoration this year or every year that symbolizes your loved one.
• Light a candle in memory of your loved one.
• Consider donating some money or time to a charitable cause in honor of your loved one. 
• Write a letter or spend some time talking to your loved one. 

4. Prepare yourself, mentally and physically, for the holiday season.  Planning ahead will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed later on.
5. Make time for relaxation, but “plan” your downtime (i.e. time of day, what you will do or not do, etc.) to avoid feeling lonely or depressed.  Suggestions:

• Journaling.
• Deep breathing.
• Getting a massage.

You can sign up to receive emails about and discounts on a variety of different activities in your area at www.amazonlocal.com.

6. Avoid depressants, such as alcohol, extended time alone, negative people, etc.
7. Let others know what you need (or don’t need!); they won’t know unless you tell them.
8. Give yourself permission to laugh and enjoy the season as you feel compelled to do so.  We don’t honor our loved ones by forcing ourselves to feel sad, miserable, or guilty.
    
9. Get support as you need it!  This can come in the form of a family member, friend, counselor, or support group.  If you or someone you know may benefit from counseling (in English, Spanish, or Polish), call (847) 981-3514 or email ParishServices@alexian.net to get more information or request an appointment.